Wearing the Costume
Think of performance as a costume we wore for so long, we forgot our skin underneath. Essence (the real you) is when you finally take it off and realize that your softness, your truth, was your power all along.
These roles were born from love and wisdom. Pero también duele. Let’s name them together:
1. La Fuerte / The Strong One
The one who holds it all. Who doesn’t cry. Who carries the family on their back.
“Si me caigo yo, ¿quién va a sostener todo esto?”
Truth: You deserve to fall apart sometimes. To be held. Even el corazón, the strongest muscle, rests between beats.
2. The Healer / The Fixer
The family therapist. The peacemaker. The emotional glue.
“If I fix it all, maybe I’ll finally be seen.”
Truth: You are allowed to be held. You don’t have to earn love by holding others.
3. The Achiever / The Performer
The one who “made it.” Who proves the sacrifices were worth it.
“Si brillo lo suficiente, tal vez me verán de verdad.”
Truth: Tu valor no depende de logros. A sunflower shines because it is—not because it has to.
4. The Good One / El Buen Hijo
You kept quiet. You stayed polite. You erased parts of yourself to protect others.
“Si me porto bien, tal vez me quieran sin culpa.”
Truth: You can speak your truth and still be loved. Fire doesn’t ask for permission to glow.
5. The Funny One / The Lightener
Always smiling. Always joking. Using humor to hide the pain.
“If I keep it light, no one will know I’m breaking inside.”
Truth: El cielo también llora antes de aclarar. You’re allowed to feel deeply and still be lovable.
Why We Chose These Roles
- To stay connected
- To avoid conflict
- To make our parents proud
- To protect ourselves from shame or rejection
- To survive systems not built for us
These were not failures, they were survival strategies. They kept us safe. But now, we’re ready for something deeper.
From Performance to Presence
We are healing as a collective when we say:
- No más máscaras.
- I can cry without shame.
- I can rest without guilt.
- I can say no and still be worthy.
We create new legacies not by being perfect, but by being real. By choosing dignity over duty. Truth over role. Tu presencia is enough. You are not here to perform. You are here to be.
If you’re ready to explore these roles and reconnect with your true self, our therapists at Latinx Talk Therapy are here to walk with you. Reach out, we’d be honored to support your healing.
